Stallone, who is 59 and best known (or only known) for his "Rocky" and "Rambo" movies, has announced he's making another "Rocky" movie. Filming starts next month. After that, he's making another "Rambo" movie, filming to start next year.

I would title them "Aging Bull" and "First Blood: Transfusion." But Stallone has other plans.

The original "Rocky" was a terrific movie, a fight picture that was smarter than it looked. It won an Academy Award as best picture, and Stallone received Oscar nominations for writing and starring in it.

In its final scene, after Rocky fights Apollo Creed, the battered boxers agree there won't be a rematch.

Promises, promises. Audiences loved Rocky, so a sequel was inevitable. There were four of them, imaginatively titled "Rocky II" through "Rocky V," in Super Bowl fashion.

I admit watching "Rocky" more times than I can count. I saw "II" once, when it premiered. I've only seen snatches of the rest on TV -- an uncomfortable collection of scenes with Hulk Hogan, Mr. T, Dolph Lundgren and a robot. The last one was made 15 years ago.

Now they're making "VI," which will carry the actual title of "Rocky Balboa."

By now, you'd expect Rocky to be working as a casino greeter or running a gym -- which is not far off. According to early reports, he's running a restaurant. The studio says he is a "regular guy" who "has long since retired but is drawn back to the boxing ring one last time."

Wanting "one more shot" at a "powerful new champion," he gets relicensed as a fighter. I presume this happens in Philadelphia, his hometown, which suggests a subplot about the ineptitude of the state boxing commission.

Who is he going to fight -- Larry King? Jerry Stiller? We'll be following the arc of Rocky's ring career from the Golden Gloves to "The Golden Girls."

Imagine the problems he'll face. If he wins a large purse, it could affect his Medicare benefits. Instead of wearing a mouth guard, he'll take his teeth out. The cup? We won't even go there.

Everybody remembers Rocky calling out "Yo, Adrian!" and "Yo, Paulie!" What will be his catch phrase this time? "You're gonna have to speak up"? "If we hurry, we can make the early-bird special"?

Reviving the Rambo action franchise poses other problems.

Stallone made three of those movies from 1982 to 1988: "First Blood," "Rambo: First Blood Part II" and "Rambo III."

The new one will be titled "Rambo IV." That's a Roman numeral "four," by the way and not an abbreviation for "intravenous."

Not as far as I know, anyway. When you're wringing blood from a stone, you can't be sure.

As John Rambo, Stallone played an avenging former soldier in a headband. In the last movie, which drew from current events, Rambo joined the U.S.-backed Mujahedeen rebels battling the Soviets in Afghanistan. In real life in those days, the rebels also had help from a fellow named Osama bin Laden.

Yo 'sama! But "IV" won't feature an Obi-Wan vs. Vader story of old pals turned foes. Instead, Rambo will come out of retirement when he finds out a young girl is missing. Wake me when it's over.

Then again, this sort of revival might have something going for it. Judging from his current approval rating, voters in California might be happy to see Arnold Schwarzenegger go back to movies.

And the producers of James Bond might reconsider their decision that Pierce Brosnan, at 52, is too old to be Agent 007 and to replace him with 37-year-old Daniel Craig.

Even better, they might realize that the coolest Bond, Sean Connery, deserves another shot.

Just make him Agent Double-Oh-Seventy. And keep him out of boxing.